JUSTIN-BOBBY

Face: LUPINE
Body: HONED
Arms: BIKER
Personality: WANKER
Distinguishing features: BEANIE HAT
Attainability: SLAG

Justin Brescia, aka Justin-Bobby, was the only reason I watched The Hills. Well, maybe Lauren Conrad’s hair was a contributing factor. But it was mainly this utter bastard and his fucked up relationship with thicko doormat Audrina that kept me enthralled. Justin-Bobby is one of those guys you soooooo want to hate the guts of because he is SUCH an unreliable prick, but one that you inexplicably find yourself drawn to again and again. This, my friends, is called ‘sexual magnetism’. It’s unexplainable. He’s good looking, yes – but is that the only reason? He probably has a massive cock too.

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