Face: ROB LOWE AND KEN DOLL’S LOVECHILD
Body: SUPERHERO
Arms: ENCHANTED
Personality: PEPPY
Distinguishing features: CHEEKBONES TO RIVAL MINE
Attainability: DIVORCED
Marsden’s comic timing is impeccable. If you saw him as Liz Lemon’s fella Criss in the last series of 30 Rock then you’ll know what I mean. He’s a devastating combo of almost-too-perfect beauty and the ability to make himself look ridiculous. I hope I never meet him because I’d probably fall into a trance and follow him, mesmerised, like a Siren-bedazzled Odysseus into almost certain peril. And he’s pretty good in straight roles too — I really liked him in the remake of Straw Dogs, and obviously anyone who loves to a) cry and b) obsess over Ryan Gosling will know that James here played the love rival to Gosling’s Noah in The Notebook. I’d like to see what types of roles he take on when he’s older. Obviously, I’ve already got the ‘incredibly beautiful elderly husband for me’ role all mapped out for him when I’m about seventy five. Can’t wait!!!!!!!!!! LOLZ
