JOAQUIN PHOENIX

Face: STEVE MCCURRY’S PHOTO OF ‘AFGHAN GIRL’
Body: FLUCTUATING
Arms: CHANGEABLE
Personality: BATSHIT
Distinguishing features: ASTONISHING ACTING APTITUDE
Attainability: UNKNOWN. PROBS INTO HOOKERS.

I know, I know… He’s a total douche sack. And he’s absolutely bonkers. He’d be a nightmare. But I just can’t help it. He’s so… intense. His new movie Master looks phenomenal. And he is — without question — an incredible actor. Darkly enigmatic and mercurial like no other, he is completely mesmerising on screen. Yet, it’s pretty well documented that he is absolutely kerrrrrazy, and not in a good way. Despite his apparent bellendery, one imagines that Phoenix’s intellect is kosher and I rather suspect that he is passionate, insightful and intelligent (…all guesses. Don’t ruin this fucking illusion for me, ok). Plus, he makes me feel a bit wriggly when I look at him — his eyes are utterly penetrating. So, I’ll gloss over his faults and base this lustiness on his talent and his strange beauty.

About these ads
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to JOAQUIN PHOENIX

  1. Deana says:

    Definately would

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s