JAMES MAGNUSSEN

Stephanie Heneghan gets all pervy in today’s special guest post about SPORT . . .

Face: ADORABLE
Body: LIKE ALL YOUR DREAMS CAME TRUE
Arms: TONED GUNS
Personality: SWEET
Distinguishing features: 6′ 5″ & A CROOKED SMILE
Attainability: GOT A GIRLFRIEND (DON’T THEY ALL)

It hasn’t been the best Olympics for James Magnussen. A great deal of expectation was heaped upon the shoulders of the man nicknamed The Missile and so far he’s not performed (a silver medal? Bitch please). But let’s look at the man behind the medal.  WHAT A MAN. 6 foot 5 inches of perfectly toned muscle, twinkling blue eyes, impressive facial hair for a 21 year old, the kind of smile that makes you forget your name – I couldn’t care less about a giant coin on a ribbon. His lack of podium appearance hasn’t stopped me screaming “IT’S JAMES MAGNUSSEN TIME” whenever he comes into view on the tv screen. In fact I prefer it this way, when he’s receiving a medal he’s clothed, when he’s about to dive in the pool there’s very little left to the imagination. So here’s to The Missile, my favourite Australian loser. May you forever be soaking wet and Speedo clad. 

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