VINCENT CASSEL

Face: PARISIAN SNOOTY
Body: TRES CHIC
Arms: ABSTEMIOUS
Personality: INTENSE
Distinguishing Features: ENORMOUS TALENT
Attainability: MARRIED TO THE FITTEST WOMAN EVER

Vincent, your entirely Gallic proclivities have rendered you speechlessly sexy as far as we’re concerned. Brooding under the weight of your tremendously magnetic appeal, I imagine that only going to bed with Monica Bellucci each night can lessen your burden. You poor little lamb. You simmer and burn, and elegantly undulate your way through a dazzlingly diverse range of acting roles. Yes, your accent helps, but honestly your ugly/beautiful countenance and your extreme confidence (which, I imagine, is only fuelled further by the fact that you go to bed with Monica Bellucci each night) is like deadly nightshade to us, your wretched desperate fans.

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One Response to VINCENT CASSEL

  1. Vivienne Berryman says:

    Bonjour mon petite pois.

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