RYAN GOSLING

Face: WONKY
Body: SLEEK
Arms: CAPABLE
Personality: SLEEPY
Distinguishing features: PUPPY DOG EYES
Attainability: WE’RE HOPEFUL

Ryan Gosling is the type of guy it’s deemed alright for straight men to fancy too (by other straight guys – women and gays are too busy to care). Reassuringly laid back, he’s talented enough to be cool, but his cute lopsided face means that he’s definitely in the ‘heartthrob’ category whether he likes it or not. Even though The Notebook is the most saccharine chick-flick EVER, he makes it seem less loser-y to watch it. Seriously, if you can watch his sex scenes in that film without getting a funny feeling, then you must be devoid of emotion. He’s intelligent, emotive, beautiful, witty, and brilliant. But listen, BACK OFF, STRAIGHT GUYS – this dude is fucking ours, OK?

(NB: This post was written pre-Drive. I know. There’s so much more to say. I KNOW)

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